but it is not because I am not a beautiful person,
and it is not because I am dangerous and unwholesome.

I don’t even know why she doesn’t approve,
maybe because I can’t put a roof over your head,
or because when we live on the streets we might end up dead,
or because I force rhymes when I’m not really feeling them just to sound more poetic.

When we visited for Christmas
and told her we were Buddhist
She called her priest
and they prayed for us
but apparently the demons didn’t leave
because we were still meditating
and following all eight-folds
at the end of the week
and Jesus didn’t want us to exchange presents
on his imaginary birthday anymore.

Then on Easter
she was surprised we even came
and wondered why we were so eager
to hunt for eggs with the kids
and your sister gave us dirty looks
as we rolled in the dirt
shouting for joy every time
we discovered a brightly colored
candy filled shell

At Thanksgiving she said
“Thank you for my wonderful children”
but she didn’t say thank you for me
and that little part of you
that’s still rebellious at thirty-eight
smiled, because your mother
is still irked by me.

Maybe it’s because she thinks
you lowered your standards
or she feels bad because
she thinks you didn’t raise you right
or maybe I just give off bad vibes

But honestly, none of that matters
I am not beautiful,
but you love me.
You are beautiful,
and I love you.
And it doesn’t really matter
that your mother doesn’t approve of me.

——————————————————————–

And just a quick note, or clarification or something. Since I’m writing for me now you’ll be seeing a lot more random writings of me spilling my heart or just making up stories. I’m not going to just put up the things that I think are good, I’m going to just put up what I think is at least tolerable. And I expect, and want, and even beg for critiques, whether they’re positive or not, let me have it. I want to become a better writer. I want to write things that will make people feel. That’s all I want.

Also, because I’m just going to be putting up whatever, I probably definitely will be writing more.

Also also, I wrote this yesterday while at work, if it makes a difference.